For the Quiet Flame who’s done doubting, ready to remember their power.

You used to trust yourself more. You used to speak up without replaying every word in your head for hours after. You used to walk into rooms without wondering if you belonged. Now?

Now, even when you know your stuff, you hesitate. You shrink. You second-guess. You overthink. You compare. You stay small in moments you were meant to step forward. And the worst part? On the outside, you look like you’ve got it all together.

You’re competent. You’re capable. You’re the reliable one. But inside? Something’s been chipped away. Quietly. Over time.

Let’s talk about that. And let’s talk about getting it back.

Confidence Doesn’t Just Disappear, It Erodes

Most people don’t lose confidence in one big crash. It fades in small, silent ways.

A rejection that stung more than you let on.
A boss who overlooked you one too many times.
A toxic work environment that made you question your every move.
A partner, a parent, a system that never truly saw your worth.
A season of survival where you had to numb the boldness to just make it through.

Confidence breaks when we stop trusting ourselves. When our voice gets so drowned out, we forget what it even sounds like.

But here’s the truth: Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be rebuilt, with practice, intention, and a whole lot of self-compassion.

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” , Suzy Kassem

What Rebuilding Actually Looks Like

Real confidence isn’t loud. It’s quiet self-trust. It’s the ability to show up, speak up, and stand tall, even if your voice shakes.

Here’s what rebuilding it really looks like:

Catching the critic. That voice in your head? The one narrating every “mistake”? It’s not truth. It’s old programming.
Giving yourself credit, out loud. Stop brushing off wins. Own them. Say them. Celebrate them.
Taking small risks on purpose. Confidence grows through action, not affirmation. Take the meeting. Say yes. Speak up.
Surrounding yourself with people who reflect your power back to you. Who reminds you who you are when you forget?
Learning to sit with discomfort, without making it mean something’s wrong. Stretching feels scary. That’s normal. Stay with it.

“Confidence is not ‘they will like me.’ It’s ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.’” , Christina Grimmie

Why I Love Confidence Coaching ‘and Why It Works’

I’ve coached women through career moves, leadership leaps, and massive life pivots, but the thread that always shows up? how many high-achieving, brilliant humans secretly feel like they’re winging it.

How many hold back in meetings, water down their opinions, or need a pep talk just to ask for what they deserve.

And I get it. I really do. i been there myself, so many times. Confidence doesn’t grow in a vacuum. It grows when we feel safe, seen, and stretched. That’s why its important we don’t just talk about confidence, we practice it.

We unpack the origin of the self-doubt. We rewrite the story. And then we build a new script, one that feels like home, not hype.

“Confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about knowing you belong there.”

What You Can Do Today

Here are a few things you can do, right now, to begin the process:

Find a therapist. Someone neutral, trained, and safe. Therapy is not a last resort, it’s a smart, strong move.
Create a character in your head, the bold, kind, fierce version of you. Let them speak up when the inner critic gets loud. Let them defend you, encourage you, and remind you of your strength.
Speak up once today. In a meeting, with a friend, in an email, say the thing you usually hold back.
Join a circle, a group, or a space where people see and lift each other up. You deserve to be in rooms where you are celebrated.
Walk away from anything, or anyone, that chips away at your worth. Even if it’s subtle. Even if it’s familiar. It’s still not okay.
Keep a confidence log. Start with three wins from this week, no matter how small.
Work with a coach. A great coach will be your cheerleader, accountability partner, and push you gently (but firmly) out of your comfort zone.
Do something slightly uncomfortable, but safe, every day. Send the email. Share the idea. Ask the question.
Practice saying thank you, without minimizing or deflecting. Let compliments land.
Give your past self some credit. Write a letter to the version of you who survived the tough stuff and got you here.

Confidence isn’t built in theory. It’s built in motion and you don’t need permission to be powerful

Book Recommendations

Here are three powerful books to support your confidence journey:

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown: A powerful read that helps you embrace your flaws and let go of the pressure to be perfect. It teaches the value of vulnerability and self-compassion.
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: This book will help you understand how vulnerability is not weakness but a pathway to courage, connection, and creativity.
How to Sell Yourself by Joe Girard: While it leans into sales, this book is all about self-belief and personal branding, how to communicate your value with confidence and clarity.

YouTube Videos to Watch

Three impactful videos to watch when you need a confidence boost:

Final Thoughts

“Confidence is built, not bestowed. And every time you show up, you’re laying another brick.” Every Quiet Flame who forgot how powerful they are

You’re not broken. You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re not behind.

You’re just someone whose confidence got quiet, and is ready to speak up again. So start small. Start shaky. Start wherever you are. But start. Because you were never meant to play small in your own story. You were meant to take up space. With grace, with fire, and with full permission to be seen.

🤔 What’s one belief about yourself you’re ready to retire, and what truth are you replacing it with this week?

📌 Know someone who’s quietly shrinking in rooms they deserve to own? Share this with them. Their power is still in there.

♻️ If this spoke to something deep in you, pass it on. You never know who’s silently battling self-doubt behind a polished smile.

If this hit home and you think its’ time to start showing up for yourself, let’s talk and if you enjoyed this piece, you’ll love our weekly Wednesday drop, real, bold, unfiltered, practical and actionable conversations you didn’t know you need it, straight to your inbox.

How to Rebuild Confidence After It’s Been Shaken