Overcoming Perfectionism
Perfectionism. It’s a word we casually throw around, wear like a badge of honor, or quietly wrestle with in the middle of the night. If you’re a woman founder or honestly, just a high-achiever with big dreams, this one’s for you.
This article is a heartfelt deep dive into perfectionism: the good, the bad, and the self-sabotaging. And if you’re not a big reader, no worries, there’s also a podcast episode (coming soon) where I talk through all of this (and more) with that unfiltered, soul-to-soul energy. So feel free to plug in and listen instead.
But for now, let’s unpack this together. Because perfectionism might look like a strength on the outside, but it often quietly chips away at our momentum, creativity, and joy.
To start,
What Is Perfectionism?
According to (Merriam-Webster) dictionary:
Perfectionism is a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.
In Psychological terms
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness, setting excessively high performance standards, and being overly critical of oneself and others when those standards are not met.
In Brené Brown ’s words:
"Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that really prevents us from being seen."
Now Let that sink ... That hits hard, right?
Perfectionism is often rooted in fear, fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of not being good enough. Sometimes it’s about needing control or wanting acceptance. And while there’s a version of perfectionism that’s adaptive (we’ll get to that in a second), there’s also a version that is straight-up self-sabotaging.
Adaptive vs. Maladaptive Perfectionism
Let’s break it down:
Adaptive Perfectionism (a.k.a. Healthy Perfectionism)
Motivating & Growth-Oriented
Involves setting high standards, but in a flexible, healthy way.
You’re motivated by improvement, not fear.
Mistakes are seen as part of the process, not proof of failure.
You can bounce back and adjust when things don’t go as planned.
Often linked to resilience, discipline, and achievement.
Example: You want your presentation to be great, so you put in the work, but if it’s not perfect, you learn from it and keep moving forward.
Maladaptive Perfectionism (a.k.a. Toxic Perfectionism)
Fear-Based & Self-Sabotaging
Involves rigid, unrealistic standards and constant self-criticism.
You're driven by fear of failure, judgment, or not being “good enough.”
Mistakes feel like personal flaws or disasters.
You often procrastinate, avoid risks, or burn out trying to meet impossible standards.
Linked to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and imposter syndrome.
Example: You keep editing a project endlessly, terrified it’s not “good enough,” and end up missing the deadline, or never sharing it at all.
The first kind helps you grow. The second kind keeps you stuck. And if you’re a woman founder, you might be dealing with both, without even realizing it.
Now that we know what we’re working with, how do we move forward?
1. Understand the Root
Perfectionism is often a mask for fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being seen failing.
Ask yourself: Why do I want this to be perfect? If the answer is rooted in fear of how you might look in front of others, that’s your clue.
Societal pressure is another important aspect here, Women are expected to be the superhero. A great mom, amazing wife, leader, friend, always calm, always graceful. And as founders, that pressure multiplies. We feel like we need to prove ourselves beyond the usual startup stress.
Understanding where your perfectionism comes from is the first brave step toward letting it go. finding a coach , a mentor a therapist , a wise and loving friend , self helping books , podcast and journaling, all or any can help you in your journey
2. Shift the Mindset
Nothing changes until your mindset does. And if you ask me, the biggest mindset shift for any recovering perfectionist is this:
Progress over perfection.
I remember reading Daring Greatly back in 2020. I printed this quote and stuck it on my desk: "Perfect is the enemy of done." It’s still there.
If you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll be waiting forever. Entrepreneurs who focus on delivering imperfect value will always outpace those waiting for the stars to align.
Celebrating imperfection.
Failure is not the end. It’s a stepping stone. A key ingredient to growth. Learning to embrace and even celebrate our mess-ups is powerful.
Want a real story? Here you go, Last year, my friend Cristina challenged me to do a 25km charity walk called Harbor to Harbor in Dublin. It was on St. Patrick’s Day and during Ramadan. I nearly died halfway, but we made it.
This year, we did it again. Still in Ramadan. Still fasting. We crushed the first half, but with 5km left, I hit a wall. I was nauseous, dizzy, and my body was done. Cristina urged me to stop. So I did. I took a bus for the last 5km and met her at the finish line.
And you know what? I celebrated that 20km like I’d run a marathon. Because I showed up. I gave my best. And I listened to my body.
That’s what recovering perfectionism looks like.
One more shift: Redefine success.
Success isn’t flawless execution. It’s impact. It’s connection. It’s showing up. Stop chasing flawlessness, it doesn’t exist. And honestly? Life is more beautiful with a little mess in it.
3. Delegate Like a Leader
Perfectionism often turns into micromanagement. You’re scared to hand things off because no one can do it like you. Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth: no one does everything perfectly. Not you, not your team, not that influencer on Instagram.
Delegating isn’t just about offloading work. It’s about trusting others, creating space for different ideas, and building a culture of creativity and ownership.
Lean into your strengths. Let others complement your gaps. This is how high-performing teams actually thrive.
4. Set Realistic Goals & Deadlines
Perfectionism thrives in ambiguity. You keep tweaking. Postponing. Waiting for the "perfect time."
So set clear, time-bound goals. Block them in your calendar. Tell someone. Make it public if you need the accountability. Done is better than perfect. Period.
And break big tasks into small wins. One section at a time. One step at a time. That’s how real progress is made.
5. Build a Support System
Surround yourself with people who get it. Coaches, mentors, peers, groups. Share your struggles. Normalize the fear. Talk about the shame.
You’d be surprised how many successful women are secretly fighting the same battle.
Other people’s vulnerability gives us permission to be imperfect too.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Perfectionists are often their own worst critics. The way we talk to ourselves? Whew. We’d never speak like that to a friend.
I saw a TikTok recently where a woman said she didn’t realize how harsh she was to herself until she got a dog. She treated the dog with love and encouragement, something she rarely gave herself.
Let that sink in.
Start treating yourself like someone you love. Be gentle. Be kind. Let yourself rest.
7. Accept That It’s a Journey
You don’t "cure" perfectionism overnight. Especially if it’s been part of your identity for years.
But you can work on it. Shift your patterns. One decision at a time.
Think of your business as an ongoing experiment: Launch. Learn. Pivot. Improve.
Even the most successful founders didn’t start where they ended up. They evolved. So will you.
And remember: what looks "perfect" today might make you cringe tomorrow. Perfection isn’t real. Growth is.
8. Celebrate the Small Wins
We’re conditioned to wait for big milestones to celebrate. The promotion. The launch. The funding round.
But life happens in the in-between.
Celebrate showing up. Celebrate trying. Celebrate writing that caption, pressing "publish," having a tough conversation, finishing the draft.
Every step counts.
Final Thoughts
Perfectionism isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a weight.
Especially in entrepreneurship, where things are messy and uncertain, success comes from embracing the imperfections and having the courage to keep going anyway.
For women, overcoming perfectionism isn’t about lowering the bar. It’s about trading fear for freedom. Shame for impact. Pressure for peace.
Read these beautiful words from Brené Brown and sit with it for a while...
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight Perfectionism is not self-improvement Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it Healthy striving is self-focused, How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused, What will they think?”
Final Word
“Perfection isn’t the standard. Presence is. And progress? That’s the real win.” - Every recovering perfectionist learning to breathe again
Let’s be clear: perfectionism might look polished, but it’s often powered by fear. And for women founders, that fear shows up in productivity, people-pleasing, procrastination, then gets labeled as ambition.
But here’s the truth: Success doesn’t require flawlessness. It requires courage, clarity, and the ability to move forward, even when things feel messy or unfinished.
So if you’re still waiting for the perfect timing, the perfect pitch, the perfect version of yourself, this is your permission slip to stop.
Start with what you have. Start anyway.
🤔 What’s one thing you’ve been holding back because it’s not “ready”? And what if done was enough?
📌 Know a woman founder or high-achiever who’s stuck in the perfection loop? Tag her or share this. Her magic was never meant to be edited out.
♻️ If this felt like a mirror, pass it on. Someone else is quietly battling the same fear, with brilliance hidden beneath the pressure.
Want to unpack perfectionism and lead from confidence instead of critique? Reach out.
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